I’m not a happy person. I never have been, and I probably never will be. I’ve never been one to work to my full potential, and I am fully aware that this is something I can change. I just won’t. It’s how I am. I always say that I’m going to change, but I don’t. I say that i’m going to control my temper, and my pride, and my emotions as a whole. But I wont. I don’t know why I think that I will change. People change every day, but at the same time don’t change at all. I would love to say that i’m growing as a person and i’m improving, but in truth, i’m withering. I’m falling apart. I’m losing my mind. I don’t know how to handle anything, I don’t know how to figure out who I am. It’s so hard for me to feel comfortable with other people, and there are a few people that I feel comfortable with. One of them happen to be you. I don’t know why, from the moment we started talking two years ago, I just had a good feeling about you. I still feel good when I talk to you. The thing is, it’s been about a year since we broke up, and you are still talking to me like you care and how you used to talk to me. I need to move on, and you aren’t letting me. Every time I start to, you pull me back. You’re holding me back. I could at least be less miserable. I feel like you don’t care about me, but you just want to keep me waiting there as an option or something for you. I’m not your last resort. I can’t just keep waiting around for you. I won’t.
- May 24
- , 2011
